Explanation

there we were, crumpled,
yet again.
but I didn't yet realize how heavy that choice would weigh. I didn't anticipate the regrets that would follow me,
across all those state lines.
What is the color of regret? Deep swirling reds, mixed with blues, creating a heavy purple.
cloudy, mostly. cloudy colors.
they still wash over me and I have to let go and recognize we are not meant to always understand why we have to walk away.
Why I'm led by strings I cannot see, creating paths that only make sense to my eyes.
And still, if I were to explain, you may not accept my apology.
For I left you there, and I felt your brokenness,
but I didn't understand.
I didn't understand how deep that tear felt when I took both sides of our lives and ripped them in half, making a ticker-tape parade of our life together. Scattered bits of paper that swirl in the wind, showing their weakness.
But don't worry. I still feel it too.
There are no winners in this game.